You want to be a nice person and don’t want people to fit you in an image you don’t like. Also, you don’t want to hurt others. But in this process of saying yes to someone else, you are saying a big NO to yourself. Now that isn’t fair. I’ve seen a lot of my friends struggling with this one thing: How to say no to something!
Your friend called you in for a party and you just said yes because-
- You don’t want to hurt them.
- And you don’t want to get into the reasoning and excuses as to why not!
- You don’t want them to form a wrong impression of you and feel that you are selfish.
But you know what? Your mental well being is more important than all the questions above. You want to please someone by compromising your state of mind. How can one unhappy person make others happy? I used to be the same person earlier. I did say yes to everything and every one thinking that it will make others feel good. But slowly and gradually, I found myself being pulled into different directions. It started affecting me negatively. That is when I decided to stop. I too, don’t like to sound mean. But then, a point comes in your life where you have to set boundaries and start to say no.
How Can You Say No?
First of all, say no without a guilt. It’s okay to do so. It’s perfectly fine to prioritize yourself. Let us take an example. Imagine someone coming up to you and asking you for something. You have three choices. Number one is to say yes, which you should of course if you are really excited about it. Number two is to say no, which again you should. It really is empowering. And number three is to tell them you need time to think. Now the last one is where I’d come to your rescue.
If it is someone whom you don’t know. Have no fear of being judged. If you don’t feel like going for a coffee or movies just because you don’t have time or you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with them, that is fine. Just as I said, have your priorities straight and don’t let anyone mess up with that.
Now coming back to saying no to someone you know, say, a family member or a friend. Then here too, I’ll suggest you to relax. Do you know why? Because these are your people. They know you. They love you. If they won’t understand you, then who will?